Beaver killers


I heard this story a few days ago. Apparently a rabid beaver attacked a boy scout leader ( As it turns out four of the scouts who came to their leaders rescue managed to both remove the beaver from the man (go ahead and add your own sexual innuendo here) AND kill the beaver.

Of course I expected the story’s focus to be on the beaver-killing scouts, but it wasn’t. Maybe not so much on the killing part, but at least an image of the sad little scouts and some information on how their annual trip had been cut short by the whole incident. But, no. Nothing.

There was a lot of blather about the increase in rabid animal attacks and an interview with a woman named Roosevelt, who may or may not have some connection to THOSE Roosevelts, but who definitely has something to do with canoeing on the Delaware (we learned that she is in her 90s and still canoes daily, weather permitting). As luck would have it, she and a friend had a run-in earlier that same day with what may or may not have been the very beaver (if indeed it was a beaver at all) who later attacked the unsuspecting scout master. I sensed a little subtext here. While Roosevelt did not come right out and SAY that her 90+ years of experience on the river gave her the upper hand with the beavers, there was something about her demeanor that indicated that perhaps she felt that the scout leader’s lack of experience played a part in his victimization. She didn’t say he had asked for it, but I just know she was thinking it.

After the interview with the canoe lady I figured, okay, now we will get some information on the heroic scouts. Again, nothing. The report ended with assurances that the scout master was currently receiving treatment and was expected to make a swift and complete recovery. Well, sure. Otherwise the lead would have been “Scout Master Killed by Rabid Beaver.” But what of the four quick-thinking scouts? I was, honestly, scratching my head. Four boys had somehow managed to disrupt a beaver attack in a river, its natural habitat, for crying out loud and the focus of the story was whether or not the occurrences of rabid animal attacks were on the rise? A question which went unanswered, by the way.

It got me to thinking, just how old are these kids? I did a little sleuthing, but could not get this information, which is probably a good thing. If I could have discovered this through a google search I would probably be writing a whole other blog right now. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that they are probably pretty young (it did take four of them to take down a beaver, after all). My money is on about ten years old. I’ll bet their parents wouldn’t permit them to go on camera. They probably think their kids are traumatized by the incident;scarred for life even! Parents always think things like that. Wanna bet they are enjoying more than minor celebrity in their peer group? I guarantee if they are ten-year-old boys, they think it’s the coolest thing EVER! I’ll tell you what, if that Roosevelt chick had done what they did there’d be no end to the news coverage. She seemed like someone who could easily turn into a media whore.

5 thoughts on “Beaver killers

  1. wigsf3 says:

    Reading this, all I could think about was this little video game my brother coded where the user controls a guy in a canoe and he has to whack beavers with an oar. Endlessly enjoyable. Too bad I accidently deleted the entire hard drive and lost the game forever.


  2. peachyteachy says:

    I will send you the special issue of Boys’ Life when it comes out. When I tell my son that the magazine has arrived, he says, “Recycle bin!” What an environmentalist.


  3. Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket says:

    I saw a press conference where beavers have a large portion of gays. They are against Chick-fil-A and scouting.


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