Show me your passport and no one gets hurt!

I just stumbled upon an article that was published in The Daily Mail (yeah, the one in London, England) about a Bellingham Washington Costco and its recent Canadian problem, entitled ‘Let’s buy all their milk!’: Costco shoppers in Washington State demand a ban on cross-border raids by Canadian shoppers taking advantage of weak U.S. dollar. I’m a nothing if I am not a whore for a good headline.

( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2187528/Costco-shoppers-demand-U-S-citizen-opening-hours-getting-fed-Canadians-crossing-border.html#ixzz23cNZXmGg )

I don’t know if it was meant to be funny, but I was laughing. You know, because it sounded more like a story that would have been reported in The Onion (which, by the way, is where we all ought to get our news. At least start there and work your way to the more boring, I mean, legitimate news outlets.). There was even a sidebar with the headline: Joan Rivers escorted out of store by police after trying to sell her book in protest and a link to that actual news story, even though it, too, sounds like an Onion news story.

( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2185252/Joan-Rivers-escorted-store-police-trying-sell-book.html#ixzz23cMv3kcA)

I can only imagine that The Daily Mail must have had a surplus of newsprint left over from their Olympics coverage. Because this article is extensive.

In a nutshell, it seems that those sneaky Canadians, what with their currently strong dollar and all, have been trucking their asses, large and small, across our border and shopping at our big box store. The author, Rick Dewsbury, goes on to detail that their purchases consist largely of staple items such as, milk and gasoline. The Horror!

According to Mr. Dewsbury (who has a future in comedy writing if The Daily Mail gig does not work out) the American shoppers are “disgruntled”, “angry”, and “agitated” (Really? That doesn’t sound like us at all). These same unhappy shoppers have described our normally reserved neighbors to the North as both “rude” and “pushy” and are demanding, through the savvy use of social media, that Costco set aside “American-only” shopping hours. To be fair, the Facebook page creator did include this passive-aggressive disclaimer on the page:

To our Canadian friends on here that think we hate you: You have to look at the root of the problem. Bellingham has laws that keep big box companies from expanding. The overcrowding in this small, slow paced town has agitated people.

So, am I to infer that these same arrogant Canadians are not only shopping at Costco, but they are also taking their money and spending it at other local establishments? Well, that just tears it! No wonder those Bellinghamites (Bellinghamians?) are annoyed. I understand. They are probably just pulling their hair out at the prospect of having to explain to one more Canadian that we do not brew our hot tea here. More surprising is that we have not seen this headline: Bellingham diner owner and Canadian customers lock heads over bacon differences.

But my favorite part of the coverage, by far, is the photograph (see above) that is captioned, as follows:

Busy: A picture posted on Facebook protest page calling for U.S. only opening hours at Costco a Costco in Bellingham, WA, shows a long queue with many Canadians

What, exactly, identifies these shoppers as Canadian? Are they normally required to tote around hockey sticks or sport maple leaves. Why, they look kind of like Americans to me. I, for one, want to see some passports, Mister!