Some things I did today


I don’t usually post lists. Nor, much to my husband’s exasperation, do I generally make lists. But I couldn’t decide on just one topic, so here are a few things that I did today:

An adequate amount of laundry, which basically means that no one should have to “go commando” tomorrow.
Assured my daughter, who had spied me shimmying into my “good” underwear, that I was indeed going to work and not headed out to “do the deed” (her words) with someone other than her father.
Explained the laundry situation.
Thanked her for thinking that I might still have the sex appeal, not to mention the energy, to two-time her beloved father.
Used my stovetop cast iron grill to cook up some chicken, which resulted in two important discoveries: exhaust fan broken; smoke alarms working.

Welcomed back my “returned from vacation” coworker and told her I missed her (and actually meant it).
Bitched about my idiotic coworkers with the less idiotic ones that I worked with today.
Wished that the above-referenced coworker was still on vacation because, although I had been sincere when I told her that I missed her, within fifteen minutes she was on my nerves and in danger of being removed from the “less idiotic” coworker list.
Worked and made a whopping $18, as a direct result of the usual overstaffing/idiotic seating typical of my workplace.

Remembered to bring my kitchen knives to work so that I could sharpen them, thereby avoiding the severed finger that was surely in my future if I continued to use these dull knives to slice up my summertime favorite, The Jersey Tomato (we didn’t get the nickname “The Garden State” for nothing!).
Waxed nostalgic about the less mealy, more succulent Jersey Tomatoes of my youth.

Became annoyed with because the “notifications” are not loading when I use my iPad.
Dragged my fat ass into the living room to investigate the WordPress notifications thing on the main computer only to discover my teenager was already occupying that room and, further, appeared to be gearing up to ask me for something.
Beat a hasty retreat without determining what the fuck is wrong with WordPress.
Discovered that my retreat was not hasty enough, as I was followed by the teenager who needed my credit card for the online purchase of team-colored hair ribbon, Under Armour cold weather field hockey gloves, mouth guards of varying colors and something called pre-wrap. This mind-numbing conversation took a full fifteen minutes, even though I had approved the purchase during minute one.

Realized that, as days go, this one hasn’t been so bad. Of course, it’s only 5 o’clock, plenty of time left for something ridiculous to happen. And, of course, there’s The Mets game to look forward to (BAHAHAHAHA).

4 thoughts on “Some things I did today

  1. javaj240 says:

    Of course you did! I await the photographic evidence!


  2. javaj240 says:

    Good luck withe the tomatoes! A good tomato is worth it’s weight in gold (I may not be able to muster up enthusiasm for much; but a good tomato is a source of joy…sad, perhaps, but true).

    I noticed that I had “unusual” activity from the Caymans. Now it makes sense. I was sort of hoping it was a Britiish banker-type or a pirate that looked like Johnny Depp, only cleaner. But I’m glad if it’s not them, that it’s you.

    Also, keep a lookout for my husband’s wedding ring, will ya? He lost it there in a place called Devil’s Cove while we were on our honeymoon. I told him to leave it in the ship’s safe, but he didn’t listen. Not much has changed.

    I would drain my iPad battery for you, too! The sardonic and the cynical really need to stick together. There are far too many optimists out there for my tastes!


  3. why am I here in a handbasket? says:

    WordPress is bugging the fuck out of me in the cayman islands. if the oldest doesn’t pick my tomatoes while I’m gone I’m going to be pissed off. I sent 4 texts at 1.99 a piece to ensure she does. these kids are killing me.
    p.s. you crack me up and it’s worth the iPad draining my battery to see what your thoughts are for the day.


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