This one is literal.
I do not understand southern accents.
It sounds like someone is speaking through a mouth full of cotton balls.
At the speed of light.
I work with a woman who is from Georgia and she talks to me incessantly in that drawl that she has.
I shake my head and smile A LOT.
Sometimes she calls me very early in the morning.
I worry that I inadvertently agreed to pull a bank heist with her the night before.
Usually she just wants to go for pancakes.
I’m generally so relieved that I find myself at IHOP with her.
I don’t understand her any better there.
I’m sure the syrup doesn’t help.
I almost never talk to her on the phone.
When I do I feel like I only understand about 50% of the conversation.
Oddly enough, she also texts in drawl.
Again, I might get about half of what she is trying to say.
I don’t like those odds.