Things I Will Never Understand (8/31/12)


This one is literal.
I do not understand southern accents.

It sounds like someone is speaking through a mouth full of cotton balls.
At the speed of light.

I work with a woman who is from Georgia and she talks to me incessantly in that drawl that she has.
I shake my head and smile A LOT.

Sometimes she calls me very early in the morning.
I worry that I inadvertently agreed to pull a bank heist with her the night before.

Usually she just wants to go for pancakes.
I’m generally so relieved that I find myself at IHOP with her.
I don’t understand her any better there.
I’m sure the syrup doesn’t help.

I almost never talk to her on the phone.
When I do I feel like I only understand about 50% of the conversation.

Oddly enough, she also texts in drawl.
Again, I might get about half of what she is trying to say.

I don’t like those odds.
At all.

5 thoughts on “Things I Will Never Understand (8/31/12)

  1. javaj240 says:

    That’s just as bad. Luckily you didn’t agree to wear a puffy shirt ona nationally televised morning show or something equally uncomfortable.

    Like

  2. kaiyasworld says:

    One of my friends used to date a soft speaker. I couldn’t hear one friggin word she was saying. I just nodded a lot & smiled.

    Like

  3. why am I here in a handbasket? says:

    I find myself skating my head in agreement and saying “yes” to Asians at the nail salon. I’m hope they’re not arranging a marriage for me.

    Like

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