Extreme Weather=Extreme Idiocy

I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. Let’s just see how long the corporate whores keep us open. On a Monday. In an (already declared!) state of emergency.

I don’t hold out much hope that anything even remotely resembling common sense will prevail. There is already a precedent for remaining open in extreme weather conditions. During Hurricane Irene and last year’s Halloween Nor’easter we only closed when we lost power (our generator only powers the large refrigeration/freezer units). I let everyone go home because I live two blocks away. As a result, I was the only front-of-house employee left standing that night. I say this not to have you think me a selfless martyr (which, of course, I am!), but so that you understand that this meant that I had to drag EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING) from the server area to the walk-in box. By myself.

But I’m sure it’ll be worth it. You know, for the ten tables of stupid people who find it “fun” to brave the elements (Fuck you, Mother Nature!), risk life and limb, and, basically, wear their stupidity like a badge of honor, all so that they can sink their teeth into a mediocre burger. I always secretly hope that they stall out in the raging rapids that was, just hours before, a major highway or that they skid and crash headlong into a snow bank. I don’t wish them harm. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I would be pleased to discover that they were stranded for a few hours.

It’s bad enough that they come in at all, but it makes me want to slap them silly when they say things like, “I can’t believe you’re actually open!” I just shake my head in disbelief, as I’m seating them. How do they not “get” it? If these morons would just stay the fuck home then we wouldn’t BE open. Capiche?

And they are, by and large, garden-variety morons. Because it’s bad enough when adults display their poor decision-making skills, but most of them drag their children with them. No shit. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it pisses me off when I witness this. They may as well pour them a margarita and give them some chew. That’s what little chance they have at a normal life given the parental hand they’ve been dealt. Of course bringing them with you on your adventure in idiocy is probably slightly preferable to leaving them home alone. But just slightly.

I fully anticipate a fun-filled tomorrow! Unless Hurricane Sandy brings a sprinkling of common sense dust along with the wind and the rain. That would be nice, but I might as well wish for sunshine and roses.

Stay safe. Stay off the roads. And, for the love of God, stay out of restaurants!

UPDATE: We actually closed. Monday AND Tuesday! It’s a Halloween miracle!

photo credit: questgarden.com

12 thoughts on “Extreme Weather=Extreme Idiocy

  1. buttonw says:

    Just spit in their food.


  2. peachyteachy says:

    Stay safe. And could you direct me to your FP post? I don’t think that I have seen it.


  3. wedelmom says:

    Glad to see that for once common sense prevailed! Enjoy your halloween miracle and stay safe!


  4. ethelthedean says:

    You are always, always spot in your posts! Love it 🙂 And I’m stoked that you are closed! Hunker down and stay safe. NO AMBLING JUST RAMBLING ALLOWED.


  5. Stay safe! My best friend has to go to work today in that mess and I’m less than excited about it as is she!


  6. they may as well pour them a margarita and give them some chew…..hilarious!


  7. Look after yourself and good luck! Hope the patrons all stay home!


  8. why am I here in a handbasket? says:

    I never believe the weather reports. 🙂


  9. Rick says:

    Around here, people get stupid when it snows 1/4 of an inch.


  10. Ad-libb3d says:

    Hope these buggers at least tip well, but for some reason, I doubt it.


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