Questions and Answers: Thanks to Swerving for Butterflies!


A long, long time ago, a very nice blogger, Swerving for Butterflies sent me these questions and asked me to answer them. Horrible person that I am, I put it off and put it off. We encountered some technical difficulties. Some questions were, I fear, lost in the ether. 
1. What song do you never get tired of hearing?
FUNNY:
Well, that’s almost too simple a question. “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt”, of course.

SERIOUS:
Tie between:
“Late for the Sky”(1974), Jackson Browne
“The Last Resort” (1976), Don Henley and Glenn Frey, The Eagles

2. What things give you the chills?

FUNNY:
Ice baths. Definitely ice baths, cold showers run a close second.
And sociopaths. I don’t want to forget to mention that one. Remember, kids, if someone gives you the chills he/she (statistically it will be a “he”, sorry guys!) is probably a sociopath.

SERIOUS:
The whine of the dentist’s drill.
Nails on a chalkboard.
The  “Ave Maria”.
The “Les Miserables” soundtrack.
Yo-Yo Ma performing anything by Bach.
Johan Santana’s last pitch of the first Mets no-hitter. 
“New York Minute” (1989), Don Henley— because it’s meaning changed for me post 9/11. I really can’t listen to it anymore.
Watching my daughter play field hockey. Not because she’s so good at it, which she is; watching her do something that gives her so much joy honestly gives me chills.

3. What event in your life shaped you most as a person?

FUNNY:
My birth, obviously. Thanks Mom and Dad! 

SERIOUS:
The birth of my daughter, unquestioningly the single most life-changing experience I’ve ever had.

4. What worries you the most on a day-to-day basis?

FUNNY:
Psoriasis. It’s heartbreaking, ya know?

SERIOUS:
That something terrible will befall my child and that I will be powerless to stop it.

5. Can you keep secrets? Why or why not?

FUNNY:
Of course. Can you? Because the truth is that I am really a CIA operative working under deep cover. This housewife/mother/waitress persona is just an identity that I have assumed in order to infiltrate suburban Bunco nights. Do you have any idea what goes on at these events? I mean, aside from the margaritas and the gambling? There is talk of a coup (something about the PTO president taking up with Democrats). And some of these women (well, there’s one man, but he’s….ya know) have developed a serious chocolate fountain “problem”, if you get what I mean. But we cannot lose the suburbs! It’s imperative that we have eyes and ears out here. Because this is where all the bullshit starts. Remember Betty Friedan? She lived in the suburbs! 

Now that I’ve told you, I’m going to have to kill you.

SERIOUS:
Yes. I am certain that I will take many secrets to my grave. Mostly because I forget most things people tell me almost as fast as they tell them to me. I guess that’s good and bad. And probably a little bit narcissistic, but what can I say? Your secret’s are safe with me!

6. What do you wish you could change most about your personality?

FUNNY:
I do wish I could stop with the clucking. I guess it’s more a nervous habit than a personality trait, but there it is. I’m a clucker. When I’m happy it has a kind of a high-pitched quality; but when I’m sad, well, it’s a little bit pathetic and doleful. It can be startling if you’re not expecting it, the clucking, but, according to my friends and coworkers, once you get used to it it’s no more annoying than that snorting thing poor Lanie does when she laughs. It scared a few men off over the years, but that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It comes in handy in emergencies. Like the one time when I was almost mugged, the fear sent me into a veritable clucking frenzy. Drove the thief right off. So, I can’t say it’s never come in handy. But, I guess if I had to pick a thing to change, I’d lose the clucking.

SERIOUS:
I think we are all “works-in-progress” and choosing just one thing may seem egotistical. Rest assured, I could fill a book with all of my faults. For the sake of brevity I have chosen the one that most negatively impacts my life.

I wish I could be less thin-skinned. I sometimes fall into the trap of worrying what people think of me. I do this less often now than I did was younger. So, I’m working on it.



I blog with BE Write

4 thoughts on “Questions and Answers: Thanks to Swerving for Butterflies!

  1. javaj240 says:

    You’re welcome!

    Like

  2. wedelmom says:

    Thanks for getting John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt stuck in my head for the rest of the day! You could totally work for the CIA…just saying. 🙂

    Like

  3. I am totally cracking up imagining this clucking scenario with the mugger! Also, I have always suspected you to be an undercover CIA agent! LOL!

    Like

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