Tonight we will celebrate — over a nice Italian dinner — what 25 years of marriage means to us, “Fang” and I. A milestone that in the modern world certainly bears marking — what with the divorce rate being what it is, somewhere, I think, in the neighborhood of 1 out of 3 marriages end in such a way. To me, that is a staggeringly sad statistic.
I take real comfort in the familiarity that is part and parcel of our long-term relationship. We have certainly weathered some storms, mostly that was my fault. Still, he stuck around. That says something about him and, I hope, about us.
We don’t talk about it much. We don’t waste our time or our energy on “State of the Relationship” discussions. We never have. We just move forward. We put the past in the past, live in the present, and try to plan for the future, “our” future, as best we can.
That it will be our future has never been a question. Even through the worst of times I don’t think it ever occurred to either of us to jump ship. We have always been in this thing for the long haul — for better or for worse.
We are, neither of us, perfect. We’ve done a few things right, though. One, in particular, comes to mind.
We had a very cute baby eighteen years ago, one that has grown into a lovely young woman. I have heard that you marry your opposite sex parent. She could do worse, far worse, than finding someone like her father to spend her life with. There exist only a handful of things that I can say with 100% certainty, that is one of them.
I hope that she has learned something about relationships by witnessing ours. Sure, we bicker, but we rarely fight. And when we do, we fight fairly and with respect. We don’t yell or throw things. More importantly, though, we never demean each other.
I think she’s lucky to have witnessed such a relationship. I know I was. My parents had, and still have, a similar one.
Perhaps the world needs to see more of this sort of thing. Our life wouldn’t make for a very interesting reality show. Still, I can’t help but think that if more folks made headlines for staying together, rather than tearing apart, the world might be a very different place.
I can’t worry about the rest of the world, though. It’s not my concern. I’ll just content myself with knowing that I did my part to demonstrate to my child that her father and I did not take lightly the promise that we made all those years ago to love, honor, and cherish each other. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s something to celebrate.