I Hope She Wasn’t Wearing a Skirt!

NaBloPoMo14DayNine After posting two recipes on two consecutive days, I received a message from a friend — a nonblogger who has never felt the pressure of NaBloPoMo — in which she accused me of “cheating”. As if recipes weren’t writing. I would argue that mine are.

Normally this accusation would be akin to “fightin’ words”, but she followed up with something along the lines of, “I suppose we’re all entitled to a bad day. I spent mine without panties.” I was intrigued. And hysterical.

Once you’re laughing your ass off and imagining the circumstances whereby your friend was rendered underwearless on a lovely Autumn Saturday, it’s difficult to sustain mild annoyance with her, never mind anger. She never revealed why, exactly, she spent the day without panties, I asked — of course I asked! She got sidetracked discussing other details of her day.

Outside of why she had gone “commando”, I wasn’t all that interested in what else she had been up to. Can you blame me? Would you have been? Because I never did find out, I have had to content myself with a few theories, some of which may or may not be drawn from my own experiences.

They were too small, circulation-constricting small, like, maybe, they belonged to someone else in her house. Someone like her young daughter, perhaps. Wait. She doesn’t have any daughters, so, no, that couldn’t be the reason. At least it couldn’t be HER reason for ditching that pair of ill-fitting Power Puff Girl briefs.

She took them off proactively to avoid the embarrassment that would be the likely result of a wardrobe malfunction. You know, because the elastic was torn around the waistband AND the leg — they were hanging on, in other words, by a wing and a prayer. Perhaps she feared they would unravel altogether and shoot down her pant leg. How would she explain such a thing to the table that she was waiting on? Oh, wait. She’s not a waitress. That must have happened to someone else I know.

She just plum forgot. This, knowing her, is the most likely explanation for her lack of drawers. It’s not that exciting, though. Unless, of course, she was wearing a skirt. Yeah. That makes for a MUCH better story. Trust me. That’s a humdinger of a tale.

A shout out to “Mrs. G” for inspiring this post. If more of my friends are as generous with their embarrassing stories as she was with hers, I may not have to publish any more recipes this month.

13 thoughts on “I Hope She Wasn’t Wearing a Skirt!

  1. Scott says:

    I didn’t know it was possible to forget to put underwear on.


  2. Roz Warren says:

    I ALWAYS wear underwear. But I never really appreciated this fact about myself until I read this post.


  3. Ha ha! All bets are off during NaBloPoMo — you can post a sign saying “I’m Off Today” if you want to. Hey, maybe I’ll do that tomorrow! I think ask Ms. No Panties to write a guest post one of the days πŸ™‚


  4. LOL! Not that I think posting recipes or even a Xerox of hand or naked bum would be cheating during NaBloPoMo (OK, the Xerox might be cheating), but posting those recipes has served you well. I’m sure there’s room during this month for a good ol’ fashioned chocolate chip cookie recipe. πŸ˜‰


  5. CaptCruncher says:

    Too funny Jackie!!! Let me know if the creative well runs dry – I might have a moment or two to share :)!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh dear — I think recipes are definitely okay. I’m sure I’ll be writing about some closer to Thanksgiving. I certainly know of women who don’t wear underwear for fashion — no panty line reasons but it happened unexpected? I’ve gone swimming before and wore my suit under my clothes. When I came out to change after a shower I’ve forgotten my bra occasionally?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cathy says:

    You are so funny and I am disgustingly intrigued what’s up with Ms. No Underpants. That was a gift to you during NaBloPoMo! BTW, does she regularly read your blog? Ahahahaha. If she does I hope you let us know!


    • javaj240 says:

      She does regularly read my blog. I don’t know if she was deliberately NOT telling me why she was panty-less or if she just assumed that I would assume, knowing her as I do, that she simply forgot to put them on. Either way, I’m sure she will let me know now for sure πŸ™‚


  8. Well…i have to say that if someone has the time and inclination to comment on your method of participating in the challenge, she might want to get a life. Or some panties!


    • javaj240 says:

      LOL… like I said, she’s a non-blogger… and she regularly reads my blog, which is more than I can say for most of my friends, so it’s all good between us. Still, I’m going to get to the bottom of the story, so to speak πŸ™‚


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