Things that are worth holding on to


86 mets photI could fill a very large file cabinet with things that would fall into the category of “seemed like a good idea at the time”. Let’s make that a virtual file cabinet, though, shall we? I’ve spent the last month hauling garbage bags and ugly furniture down the stairs. The last thing I need to be tripping over is a file cabinet filled with bad decisions. Decisions that, by the way, span years and run the gamut from cutting my own hair to driving drunk, from piercing my own ears to buying a white couch, from being unkind to running with the wrong crowd.

For the most part I’m happy with the decisions I’ve made regarding the more important things in my life like, for example, who I married. And that’s a big one. Don’t overestimate the importance of that one, folks. Sure, he gets on my last nerve sometimes, but he comes in handy for things like hooking up HDTV’s. Also, he’s game for tearing up outdated pleather couches armed only with a hammer and a steak knife. He doesn’t bang on about fancy meals, either. That’s a plus. As long as I keep coffee and peanut butter in the house he’s a relatively happy camper.

Insofar as we choose our mates based on qualities that we deemed were important at, in my case, 19 years old (HA!), it’s no wonder the divorce rate is so high. Either I was very smart at 19 (again, HA!) or, more likely, very lucky indeed. What first drew me to him was that he had a car and a job, which, in hindsight, seem like relatively frivolous things. What I came to realize, mostly while riding in that car, was that he laughed a lot and he did so easily, which made being around him enjoyable. He still does, it still is.

The hovel purge has been hard on him. I’ve been hard on him. Let’s just say that there hasn’t been a lot of laughing. This weekend, however, it seems that he (and we) rounded a corner. He actually stopped fighting me and began to embrace the changes that I’ve been trying very hard to make happen here. He even got into the spirit and threw out a couple bags of his own junk; junk that has been clogging up my bedroom for years. I saw him wrestling with whether or not to keep the ’86 Mets World Series official photo. He was on the verge of tossing it when I stopped him. Though I cannot imagine where a framed 8 x 10 photograph of a bunch of guys in orange and blue will fit into my décor, I didn’t have the heart to make him get rid of it.

It seems that some things, even things that are old and outdated, are worth holding on to.

21 thoughts on “Things that are worth holding on to

  1. […] posts: What Passes For Normal On An Ordinary Saturday Here’s To Hoping For the Best! Things That Are Worth Holding On To Trading One Addiction For Another. Mother of the Year. My Husband Is Much Nicer Than His Wife. What […]

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  2. The cleaning of life stuff is so hard! I have had three boxes in the basement waiting for my husband to go through them. I don’t think it will ever happen unless I bring them upstairs and set them directly in front of him. Maybe that is a good weekend project! Kudos on keeping the Mets picture. 😉

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    • javaj240 says:

      Here’s what I know for sure: people do stuff in their own good time, but if they have to maneuver around stuff to get a snack it may occur to them that now might be a good time. Drag that junk upstairs, put it between him and the fridge. That ought to do it. Good luck!

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  3. haralee says:

    Life’s compromises!

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  4. Ned's Blog says:

    I’m sure the fact that you recognized his effort, as well as not letting him throw away that photo, is one of the reasons “it was — and still is” with you, too 😉

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    • javaj240 says:

      Yes. I always try to recognize his efforts in every area. We are all works in progress, after all. He puts up with a fair share of my crap, too. I’m aware of that. LOL.

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      • Ned's Blog says:

        HaHaHa! That’s what it’s all about. My wife, who I adore to no end, is a major pack rat. Not that she’s eligible for her own episode of Hoarders, she just has a hard time letting go of sentimental things. Whenever I get a little frustrated, I just remind myself of how lucky I am to have her things to walk toe-first into 😉

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        • javaj240 says:

          That’s the attitude! Good for you, Ned. And it’s nice to hear that you adore your wife. I’m sure she knows it.

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  5. Beautifully written and so very true. Same reason there are a few boxes in our basement which I don’t see the need to save, but I don’t say a word about (he gets my grief about plenty of others)..

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  6. I’m not a big sports person at all, but in 1986 I didn’t miss a Mets game. That was the most amazing year (also the year my first son was born). I would not through away any memories of the 1986 Mets.

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    • javaj240 says:

      LOL, I hear ya! I couldn’t let him do it either.

      The ’86 Mets were the bomb. They really were.

      Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting! I think I will see you at lunch/brunch on Saturday, no?

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  7. ethelthedean says:

    Did you guys get married at 19? If so, that really is amazing!!

    So glad to hear that a corner has been rounded. Keep calm and carry on purging! xx

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    • javaj240 says:

      No. We met when I was 19, married when I was 24. (Still, very young, if you ask me!) He is almost 6 years older than I am.

      In November we will be married 25 years!

      I read all of your posts that I missed the other day… all great! My iPad was giving me problems, so I couldn’t comment, but I will. I have so many nice things to say to you! I’m particularly happy with your success on the stand-up circuit. I wish I had the nerve to try it, LOL.

      And, yes, the purge is coming along nicely. What a ridiculous amount of work, though. OMG. All I really need to finish is time, energy, and money. Lots and lots of all of them would be very welcome. Ugh!

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  8. rossmurray1 says:

    This just left me grinning. You pack a lot of emotion into a small space here (like a closet, no?). Love it.
    And, it’s the 86 Mets, man!

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    • javaj240 says:

      I’m trying very hard to be pithier (is that even a word?).

      And, don’t even get me started on closets. I’ve yet to tackle the giant in my hallway. It’s sitting there, door ajar, looking like a monster’s maw, daring me to conquer it. And I will. But not today. So, for now, the closet wins!

      The ’86 Mets are sacrosanct around this joint. Seriously. It’s sad. I probably enjoy looking at the mustachioed Keith Hernandez far more than I should admit.

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      • rossmurray1 says:

        I was a Boston fan at the time, so heartbreak for me, but also being an Expo fan was happy for Gary Carter.

        “Pithier” is absolutely perfect. And I can’t hear it without thinking of this sequence from Woody Allen’s “Bananas”:
        Mellish: That’s very wise, you know…? That’s, I think, pithy.
        Nancy: It was pithy. It had… great pith.
        Mellish: Yeth. Pith.

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        • javaj240 says:

          I had forgotten all about that bit of dialogue from “Bananas”, probably because my brain, much like my closets, is so chock full of other useless nonsense like, for example, how to make sour cream from vinegar and buttermilk when you don’t have any sour cream in the house. Of course, this assumes that you would have something as ridiculous as buttermilk just lying around in the fridge. Who would have buttermilk and not have sour cream? These are things that occupy much of my waking hours. But, thanks for the “Bananas” quote.

          This comment is certainly NOT full of pith.

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      • peachyteachy says:

        Even though I am no longer married to my Mets fan, I am with you on sacrosanct and Keith Hernandez. That was the best baseball year ever. I wish I could do the kind of purge of which you speak. Maybe this summer. Hats off.

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